The hardest thing to do is the one thing you desire most

Since I was nine I've wanted to become a science fiction author. I wanted to create worlds and explore amazing things, and over the years that has grown into something not entirely unlike my childish fever-dream. Of course, now that I'm verging on fifty years old, I am now wholly in touch with my depression.

...Not that awareness makes anything better.

Said depression about everything in my life, with diminishingly few redemptive aspects that just makes me even more depressed, is significantly reductive. It saps every last bit of will out of my soul, no matter how fiery and passionate I am about a subject, like writing or social justice or racial equality or anything good and fair, and I just drive, play video games, and watch stuff. To do anything else, to create, to work hard to achieve a goal, dredges up all of those things that push me to crawl under a rock and just stop being me.

I don't know how to break out of that cycle. People will tell me they know, and some will even offer such advice free of charge, but the truth is I don't lack the knowledge. What I lack is the backbone to endure the pain long enough to reap the reward. I stopped smoking after 35 years. I did it in one day. I switched to vaping in 24 hours. No fuss. No muss. It worked because there was no pain. I'd collected enough information and just did it.

Beyond that, I don't know how to fix anything any more. But I can type. And so I will try. I will always question my words, the order I say them in, how readers will react to them, and second-guess myself at every turn, but I will try.

I will try to post one piece of anything length every day.

I hope it works.

The WDP Project: Validation of sources

In today's post (which was supposed to be posted yesterday), I will be discussing the WDP, a project I have started with the goal of fostering honesty in goverment by holding our elected officials accountable for the claims they make. -TCR

One of the biggest problems facing the We Demand Proof project is the selection of valid sources of proof that most people can agree on. While I'm generally not keen on pointing fingers, in this case I believe it's necessary. The blame lay almost entirely at the feet of CNN. Yes, the one and only CNN. The Cable News Network is single-handedly responsible for creating the 24-hour news cycle. While CNN did not create the panel of pundits, a very old staple of news programming, they have come to abuse it, a disease that has infected all other news networks and broadcast to the point where panels have almost entirely replaced actual reporting.

Field work, in essence, has become a tool to collect questions for panel discussions.

Interview with a woman named Larry

I'm just going to write something directly out of my head, so we'll see how it goes. -TCR

I've always liked the name Larry. It feels old without being stuffy, and there's an inherent jocularity about it. When you hear that you'll be meeting with some dude named Larry it instills in you the idea that the interaction won't be dark or heavy. When I walked into the room to meet my particular Larry, however, things didn't go as expected.

My Larry was a woman and anything but jovial.

"Sit," she said, not looking up from her tablet. I sat.